“Cheese” by Carla Buckley – September 2011

Your Honour, my defence I have prepared
Please understand, may I be spared?
Story in my own words I’ll tell
From beginning to end of this present hell

Policeman’s hat through the door I see
No longer if caught, will I be free
“Open up Police” I hear him shout
Enforcer hit’s hard with solid clout

Through the lounge, with haste I run
Accomplice I curse “You said it’d be fun”
First out the window, the waif she’s gone
Over the hill, reaching the path that’s long

Laughing I’m not, through the window I squeeze
“Was not me” I cry, who stole the cheese
With a mighty hand, my leg he pulls
From my jacket the cheddar, it loudly falls

Then Brie, Wensleydale and Laughing Cow
No wonder I got stuck in the bloody window!
Red handed caught he has me so
Read my rights and away I must go

Before you, Your Honour, I humbly stand
Judge and peoples of this land
All witnesses here I’ll make my pleas
“I just couldn’t I swear, resist the cheese!”

By Carla Kovach

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