Last night I walked through Redditch Town,
Up a hill, where once stood ‘The Crown’.
To get there though, I went under a bridge;
Where I spotted a slug wedged in a ridge.
With disgust I stepped back and trod on something………slippy.
Falling back, I found it was a kebab from the chippy.
Bread, lettuce, kebab meat and chips;
Then I found I put my hand in some bloody dog s***!
On my trouser leg I wiped my hand,
And stumbled forward as I tried to stand.
Awfull smelly muck, not hard or slight;
It was then I turned and witnessed a fight.
First was the shouting and then the thud.
The one slapped the other and I’m sure I saw blood.
Two forty somethings, I watched them brawl;
Then thought I’d get comfortable and sit on a wall.
Too drunk to stand, the one fell over p*****.
The other threw a punch and clearly missed.
As he laughed, the bearded one helped the other up,
Beardy said “mates, but you’re still a cock”
They walked towards the wall looking menacing at me,
“Who you looking at?” said the bearded he.
“No one” I laughed, “you’ve had a few, go away!”
As I pulled a stupid face and looked the other way.
I said look, I mean no harm, let’s shake on it;
Reluctantly he agreed and we shook a bit.
After shaking – hands that is, of the bearded one;
Happily down the hill they’d gone.
Knowing that I had the poo on my hand.
Remember the poo from when I fell to the ground?
Well I saw Beardie pull from his pocket a pie;
Slurping and belching to his friend as he said bye.
Placing his hand around it, taking a bite;
I heard him yell, “This pie tastes like shite”
The moral of the story is simple you see,
Don’t stop to look at slugs on bridge walls while you pee!
By Carla Kovach